Social Media and Cowardice

If you really believe in what you have to say about a person, then why use social media to communicate a message to him or her, especially if you have the person’s home address, email address, and/or telephone number?  Because many people lack the courage to confront people directly, social media becomes vehicles for articulating their messages.  What’s disconcerting about this increasing phenomenon is more people believe that Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, blogs, and etc. are the proper mediums to solve conflicts.  Why not just pick up a telephone?  One has to wonder, however, if people just enjoy resolving conflicts through public spaces like Facebook and Twitter to attract more attention to themselves.  When you think about it, resolving conflicts at someone’s home, through email, and/or over the telephone is too private for those who desire to find any way possible to get more attention drawn to themselves.

Now, if you have already directly addressed your problems with someone and that person does not try to work with you to solve those problems, then it may be appropriate to express how you feel in general about a problem you have with someone in an indirect manner to keep you from fighting the person.  If you have an established reputation of letting people know in their faces (without any hesitation) how you feel about an issue or problem when one arises, then it may be appropriate to make an indirect comment on Facebook or Twitter about the problem or issue.

Cowardice occurs through social media when a person never has addressed his or her problems with someone directly.

Some people think you’re not smart enough to know when they’re sending subliminal messages to you.  They think they’re getting over on you and affecting you.  However, what they don’t understand is the reason that you’ve not responded to them directly and/or punched them in the mouth is you see them as lightweights, are trying to not destroy their world for their sake and their family’s sake, and/or wish not to cause a major scene.

When people always have to promulgate indirect messages, you can tell they’re struggling with deep insecurities and self-esteem problems.  Why else would they always express themselves through indirect messages?

In the time you invested in composing an indirect message, you could have already communicated a direct message by picking up a telephone?  Why waste time?  Go ahead and be honest—it’s not really about the indirect message you’re attempting to send to someone, but it’s more about you needing to deal with things you’re stowing on the inside of you that need to be eliminated.

You have to be careful about communicating indirect messages to someone through social media because that person could respond with a direct message to you that could surely shake up your world forever.

For every move there is a counter.

Don’t let your weak indirect messages end up causing you a lifetime of misery.  You have to resolve how much you’re willing to lose when you publish tweets, statuses, and posts.

Don’t be a coward—say what you have to say to someone directly to him or her!

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

Burn Some Bridges

It has often been passed down from one generation to the next the belief that one should not burn bridges because once you burn bridges you can no longer cross them.  While this is good advice in general, there are some bridges you need to burn.  As many of us know, the word bridges is often used metaphorically to refer to people who have and/or can benefit you.  If you’re a principled person, then you’re not going to stay beholden to a person who has done you wrong, even if that person offers you great benefits and has a strong network of connections to extend to you.  When someone, including a parent or grandparent, wants you stay on the good side of someone just because of the benefits he or she can and/or do offer you, then you need to let that person know that you’re not willing to sacrifice your principle and who you really are just to keep getting benefits from a person.  Your parents and grandparents are not important enough to allow them to sacrifice your principles and character.

While one should not feel like he or she cannot obtain good advice from people, this does not mean all “good advice” is right for you.  Sometimes “good advice” is right for many people but it may not be right for you.  People who are perceived to be good for everyone they are around may not be good for you.

Always do what’s best for you.  Always be willing to disassociate from anyone who does not inspire the best in you.

If someone constantly weighs you down, then this person is not good for you, even if this person has some positive benefits to offer you.  You have to understand that the people around you can offer you positive benefits, but you must seriously weigh and consider the costs of those benefits.  Are those benefits more costly than they are positive?

Do you continue to associate with some people just because you don’t think you can make it without them?  If so, how important is being a principled person to you?  You cannot be a truly principled person when you’re willing to do anything to stay on the “good side” of people to keep reaping benefits from them.

Are you willing to do anything to keep your employer happy?  Are you willing to deny who you are to keep your job?  If you are, never claim to be a leader and one who keeps it real.

Some “wisdom,” not all, that has been passed down from your parents and grandparents is not an apt fit for our postmodern epoch and, more importantly, it’s not wisdom at all for you and who you really are.

In no way does this piece assert that you need to walk around and pretend that you don’t need anyone.  This piece also does not contend that you should go around severing ties with people without a clearly defined purpose.  However, don’t let “good advice” and people own you.  This article seeks to communicate a great concern with the “wisdom” of “don’t burn bridges.”  If people don’t apply the wisdom of this concept appropriately, then it can turn them into slaves of ideas, people, and organizations.  If a bridge will easily collapse on you, then you don’t need to remain on and around that bridge anyway.  Surround yourself with bridges that will be there to support you even when things are going tough.

Burn those bridges that are not dependable and that are mere illusions of bridges.

Of course, don’t forget the bridges that brought you over.  This piece wants you not to forget them for a reason that is not traditionally passed down to you:  Don’t forget those bridges because you need to assess the past and present ones so that you know which ones to burn, which ones to keep, and which ones to never cross in the future.

Never let anything and anybody stand between you and your principles, even if it’s a “bridge.”

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

Drop Out of Popularity Contests

Don’t waste your time in life trying to get everyone to like you.  Additionally, don’t worry about trying to keep those who like you now to remain liking you—just do you.  You will find that you will live a happier life when you’re more concerned with doing things that please you.  When you devote too much time to attempting to figure out what is going to satisfy every single person around you, then you will lose who you are in all of those efforts to please everyone.  You cannot be all things to everyone.  In no way does this piece advocate for you to be a selfish person, it just acknowledges you have to take time for yourself to enjoy the things you love to do.  You have to appreciate yourself.

When you periodically do things that are totally for yourself, this does not make you a selfish person—it makes you a person who understands that you cannot truly know how to be happy for someone else until you’ve made yourself happy.  Don’t depend on other people to make you happy.  You have the ability within yourself to make yourself happy.  When you depend on other people to be happy, then you’re going to face a significant number of disappoints in life.  You may never be truly happy when you wait on others to create true happiness within you.

True happiness originates within yourself.  Yes, others can and will help your happiness to mature but don’t let others be the foundation of your happiness.  If other people are the foundation of your happiness, it will inevitably crumble.

Too many people are far too focused on how they can get everyone to like them.  You must understand that everyone will not like you.  Some people will not like you without any rationale—don’t try to force them to like you because you won’t win them over.  It’s better to have one or two good or great friends than to hang around a thousand people who you’ve fooled yourself that they’re your friends just so you can tout you have such a large number of friends.  It certainly does not seem like you’re attempting to truly please yourself when you do this type of thing.

Participating in popularity contests will leave you exhausted, empty, disappointed, and unhappy.

Live in your own spotlight!

Have enough confidence in yourself to believe you can do whatever you desire to do.  When people tell you that you cannot do something, transfer their negativity into positive energy.  You don’t have to settle for doing the popular things that will gain you instant approval from people who are looking for microwave success.  You have to know that if the path to success you have carefully planned takes years and not days, that you’re going to reach your goals and you’re no lesser of a success story than those who were fortunate to achieve success in a shorter period of time.  For those who achieve success in a shorter period of time than you, please be sure that they’re truly successful and not putting on a visage of success.

Worry about yourself sometimes.  Stop looking for approval from other people.  People who win popularity contests really lose tremendously in the game of life.

Enjoy life.  Be stress free.  Live free!

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

Move beyond Complaining about New State Voter Identification Laws

On this day, Revolutionary Paideia pays tribute to the life and legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  Dr. King’s contributions to the United States of America are immeasurable.  It was because of his unwillingness to remain silent in the face of egregious injustice and oppression that gave us all an opportunity to understand what America can truly be when we live up to the utopian ideals and values promulgated in the Declaration of Independence.  As I watched the annual tribute to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta, Georgia on television, I very much enjoyed the beautiful celebration of the life and legacy of Dr. King.  The celebration of Dr. King’s contributions to America and the world were exquisitely stated by a range of diverse individuals from America and across the globe, evincing a microcosm of the utopian multiracial democracy Dr. King envisioned.

Although I thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated the excellent tribute to Dr. King at Ebenezer Baptist Church, one thing that troubled me was many speakers stated their opposition to new state voter identification laws that, in their opinion, disproportionately impact the poor and minorities, but no one presented a plan to help them to overcome the barriers of the new state voter identification laws.

It’s important to highlight that Mayor Kasim Reed, mayor of Atlanta, did assert that people who have state identification cards need to make sure others who don’t have them get them.  Instead of investing so much energy in protesting new state voter identification laws, such as the one in Georgia, there needs to be greater focus on how to get everyone a state identification card.  While one can understand people having frustrations with new state voter identification laws that they contend adversely impact the poor and minorities, and function as a poll tax, protesting without offering solutions is unproductive.  For those who are concerned about the new voter identification laws being a means of suppressing votes, then use your resources to pay for people to receive state identification cards who cannot afford them.

Organizations like the National Urban League can use their resources, including their money, to pay for as many people who cannot afford to pay for a state identification card.  If you’re really concerned about people not being able to pay for a state identification card to vote, then why not pay for them to get one if you have the money?  Why not have a billionaire financer of liberal causes, George Soros, to fund efforts across the nation to get state identification cards for those who cannot afford them?  This is a time when liberal organizations have to come together to pool their resources to cancel out the impact that new state voter identification laws have on the ability of the poor and minorities to vote.

If there is real evidence of these new state voter identification laws preventing people from being able to vote, then the evidence needs to be offered.  While we want to make sure that everyone who has the right to vote can vote, we need to have concern for voter fraud as well.  Although it may sound good to say that we need to be more concerned about getting more people to vote once, and emphasize how difficult it is to get them to vote once, there is a reality that people attempt to commit fraud at the polls.  Evidence of voter fraud has been presented.  Now, it’s time for evidence to be offered that proves that new state voter identification laws suppress votes.

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

What’s Up With These Kickers?

Increasingly, we’re witnessing how many kickers are not performing satisfactorily at all levels of football.  To put it bluntly, many kickers are causing many teams to lose.  Although it’s kind to say that “we win as a team and we lose as a team,” the reality is one player can cause the team to lose.  As a football and basketball coach, I know how important it is to teach your players about teamwork and winning and losing as a team.  However, as a successful young coach, I’ve learned that it’s vital to hold a player accountable for the things he does on the field or court.  It’s not always the team that does not do what it is supposed to do, but it is often an individual player who does not do what he is supposed to do.  Coaches must hold a player accountable and not the team accountable when a player does not do the things he needs to do to help the team win.  Without question, many kickers are costing teams games they should win.

It’s understandable if a kicker misses a 40 yard field goal or longer.  However, when a kicker misses a short 25 or 30 yard field goal, it’s completely unacceptable.  Missing an extra point is unpardonable.  Kickers need to understand that they need to work as hard as anyone else on the team to be ready to execute the tasks they are asked to perform during a game.  We’re all going to make mistakes, but missing a short field goal is something a kicker should not do during a game.  One cannot even begin to defend a kicker who misses an extra point.

We’re learning just how valuable kickers are to the game of football.

When punting the ball, it’s essential for kickers to make an effective punt to put the opposing offense in a spot on the field that is unfavorable for the opposing team.  During the kickoff, they need to put the ball in a spot that is going to make it most difficult for the opposing team to be able to get good field position.

Many coaches are going to have to put greater emphasis on establishing and maintaining a good kicking game.  While we don’t want to cause a kicker to commit suicide because of a missed field goal or extra point that resulted in a loss for his team, coaches are going to have make sure that a kicker is just as ready for each game as any other player is.

While most people who desire to play football want to be a quarterback, running back, wide receiver, or some other high profile position player, it’s a good time for you to become a kicker because you could make a significant amount of money right now, considering there’s a dearth of good kickers currently playing the game.

If you have a good kicker on your team, make sure you let him know how much you appreciate him.  If you have a struggling kicker on your team, then let him know how vital his improvement is to your team being able to be successful.

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

You Were Just Convenient—Don’t Trip

You can make yourself look and feel like a fool when you think that a person was and is so mesmerized by you sexually—when in reality, he or she was just having sex with you just because you were available.  Some people think that because a person was asking and/or wanting to have sex with them a significant number of times means that he or she has an obsession.  If you’re this type of person, then you need to reconsider your thinking.  If a person has a high sex drive or is just looking for affection because there is really not many options available in the area, then you’ve got to understand that it’s not really about how great you are, but more about you being able to supply the person’s needs.  Therefore, don’t go around thinking that you’re all that because the person was desiring you so much—he or she could have been just using you for sex, and you’re going around thinking that he or she just cannot get enough of you.

You have to understand that people have sexual needs and when options to have sex are limited, you may just be their means to an end.

While you are out telling people that the person is obsessed with you, you must have been obsessed with the person too because you were willing to have sex with him or her so many times.  Did you ever think about this?  Did the thought ever cross your mind that you were the one getting dominated and played?

Just because someone asked and/or wanted to have sex with you a significant number of times does not mean that you are a good sexual performer.  Again, if he or she has limited options available, then you are just his or her most reasonable option to having sexual intercourse.  Now, when people have extremely high sex drives, they may try to get sex from almost anyone available.  Therefore, you could be that person who was just available to help them satisfy their sexual appetite.

For those of you who think that you are some type of sexual prize, you might need to reconsider your thinking. You might just be someone’s useful idiot.  Did you ever consider that you are and/or have been someone’s useful idiot?

Things are not always what they seem.

Excessive arrogance can cause you to overestimate your sexual worth.  It can cause you to not try to make yourself better each time you have sex.  Therefore, while you thought that you were providing the individual with the greatest sexual experience that he or she has ever had each time you had sex, you really were not because your excessive arrogance led you to never ask how you performed.

If you’re a whore, that is, you have had sex with so many people, then you should not be parading around like you’re something special.  Please! Everyone in town has probably slept with you.  What’s special about you now?

Be careful about thinking that everybody wants you.  It can be that they see you’re just easy and always available.  Do you feel so arrogant now?

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

Honor Second Chances With Your Ex

If you messed up with someone you once was in a serious relationship with and he or she gives you another chance, then you certainly should not revert to doing the same things that caused the person to break up with you the first time you were in a relationship.  You cannot argue about the person needs to trust you when you’re doing the same things that ended your previous relationship with him or her.  Yes, if your ex has agreed to take you back, then he or she should be willing to trust you again and not immediately start accusing you of wrongdoing.  However, you cannot engage in the same practices that resulted in the termination of your first relationship with him or her.  If you do, then it’s justified for him or her to question you about potential wrongdoing(s).

For instance, if the reason your ex broke up with you in the past was you cheated on him or her, then you would not want to be in the bed with him or her at 3:00 a.m. texting.  This is completely unacceptable.  If the reason why your ex broke up with was you were spending the majority of your time with your friends and not enough with him or her, you might not want to make that same mistake again.  It already takes a significant amount of courage for your ex to take you back after you have done something wrong for him or her to break up with you in the past, so you have to be very considerate about the things you do during your newly established relationship.  Avoid giving your partner even the slightest impression that you’re involved in wrongdoing.

Open and frank communication is mandatory to establishing and maintaining a successful relationship.  Many of the phenomena that couples fuss about would never evolve into problems if they would establish open and frank communication.

If you want your newly formed relationship with your ex to have a chance to succeed, you also need to avoid telling him or her lies.  You need to tell your partner the truth even when it seems like telling the truth is impossible.  Please don’t lie about small things.  If you have to lie about small things, then your partner will have a difficult time trusting anything you say and do.  Of course, without trust your relationship will end quickly.

Focus on the positive things that led you and your partner to reunite.  Far too often, we concentrate primarily on the negative and not enough on the positive.  Now, if there are not enough positive things for you and your partner to focus on, then just save yourselves a whole lot of trouble and don’t reunite.  Your relationship will be doomed from the beginning if you don’t have enough positive things to concentrate on.

Before you make an attempt to reunite with your ex, be sure that you’re mentally, physically, and spiritually prepared.  It can be a beautiful thing to reunite with your ex, and it can be an ugly thing to reunite with your ex when you’re not prepared to do so.

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

The Revolutionary Paideia 2011 Person of the Year & December 2011 Person of the Month: Drake

Although many other people were strongly considered for The Revolutionary Paideia 2011 Person of the Year, Drake was finally selected.  With Drake’s recent impressive sales on his sophomore rap album, Take Care, he deserves to be recognized as The Revolutionary Paideia December 2011 Person of the Month.  Drake embodies the “unsettling, unnerving, and unhousing” spirit that found this site.  Drake is a rapper who does not try to fit the traditional rap mold.  He doesn’t try to be a gangsta rapper or act all “hard” just to appease those who expect all men, including male rappers, to be hypermasculine.  You won’t find Drake talking about gangbanging and dope dealing in his art.  What you will hear, however, is a truly one of a kind rapper who is not afraid to challenge the status quo in rap music and in Hip-Hop in general.

Take Care sold over 630,000 copies in the first week it was released (Take Care’s First Week Sells).  The early success of the album is evidence of Drake’s serious commitment to continuing to ameliorate his craft.  Drake is simply not another rapper and Hip-Hop artist—he’s a talent reconceptualizing the way we think about rap music, Hip-Hop, masculinity, success, and much more.  If you’re looking for a positive example in rap music and Hip-Hop, Drake is one of the best examples of rap music and Hip-Hop at their best.

Because Drake has elected to not be a gangsta rapper and be “hard,” he has come under attack from many people.  Even someone who I deeply admire, Dr. Marc Lamont Hill, expressed that he hates Drake.  For someone who does not know him personally, that’s certainly too strong of an emotion to have.  Those who claim to be “thugs” find Drake to be too “soft” to be considered a real rapper, and they argue that he is more of a pop singer than a rapper because he sings on some of his rap songs.  Why hate on this man’s ability to sing?  So do you have to be a “thug” to be a real rapper?  Do you have to be gangsta rapper to be a true rapper?  Do you have to have been in jail, sell and use dope, grew up poor, and have lyrics permeated with violence to be a real rapper?  The answer to the three aforementioned questions is no.  Getting that answer across to many people is a difficult task, however.

It is with great pleasure that I name Drake The Revolutionary Paideia 2011 Person of the Year and The Revolutionary Paideia December 2011 Person of the Month.  With so many unsubstantiated attacks on Drake that one can find on the internet, including Twitter and Facebook, it is my hope that this piece will offer a refreshing and positive look into one of the greatest rappers, artists, and Hip-Hop figures to ever live.  These awards given by Revolutionary Paideia are small tokens of love and appreciation for this great man and artist.  Continue to do spectacular things and continue to be who you really are.  Congrats, Drake!

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

Research Who You’re Dating Before You Commit

Although you don’t want to have a complete fear of commitment, many people need to have a little more caution about who they choose to date.  Many people are just too happy to be intimately involved with someone or to have the appearance being intimately involved with someone that they neglect to do some of the basic research that can be quite helpful in discovering that their “special” woman or man is really not just “special” to them but to others as well.  If you do some asking around about the person you’re involved with, you just may find some valid things about him or her that he or she has not shared with you.  You may even be surprised with what those who hang around you all of the time can reveal to you about who you’re dating.

You have to have a willingness to listen to what people around you may have to say about the person you’re dating.  Of course, there will be many people out there that will simply hate on the person you’re dating, but you can eliminate those folks by asking them to give you proof to verify what they’re saying.  People who really have some knowledge about the person you’re dating can provide you with some proof of what they’re claiming.

In no way does this piece assert that you should become a private investigator or hire one to investigate the person you’re involved with.  This piece does, however, contend that you should ask that person serious questions and ask questions about the person to people who knew him or her before you did.  You just may be amazed at what you find out!

You can make yourself look like a fool when you go around acting and talking like you have the most special person in the world when that’s the same person who has slept with nearly everyone in town, or has slept with whorish people you know you don’t want to come behind.  You don’t have to turn into an interrogator, but it certainly is a wise decision to asking some probing questions before you truly commit yourself to a person.  A person who is truly committed to you will not mind you asking questions about their past and what he or she is doing right now.

If you discover that the person you’re dating has slept with one of your friends, do you really want to continue to be with that person?

Of course, everyone has a past and if you find out aspects about someone’s past that you don’t like, then that’s up to you how you judge that person for what he or she has done in the past.  For example, if you discover that the person you are dating has been really whorish in the past, you may resolve that this is not the person you want to stay committed to or desire to build anything further.  However, if you learn that someone has slept with your friend or associate since you’ve been together, then you need to reassess whether or not you should be with that person, especially if you’ve asked the person you’re dating if he or she has slept with that person before and the response was no.

Again, don’t go to extremes in your attempts to learn more about the person you’re dating, but do some basic research about your mate.  Start with basic questioning.  If you don’t have open and frank communication with your mate, then the relationship is going to end inevitably anyway.

Before you present the person you’re dating to the public as being so “special,” make sure he or she is not also someone else’s intimately “special” person too.

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

Own Your Frustrations

Don’t take your frustrations out on others.  If there are specific people causing you to be frustrated, then direct your anger toward those individuals—not everyone else.  You have to learn how to take control of your emotions.  Your emotions are your emotions.  Don’t force everyone around you to have to deal with your problems.  When you’re having an unpleasant day, you shouldn’t try to make everybody else have an unpleasant day.  We can learn a significant amount about ourselves when we begin to think critically about how we handle being frustrated.  Just because you’re frustrated doesn’t give you valid justification to make drastic decisions.  When many people get frustrated, they start to acting like it’s the end of the world.

You have to understand that things are not going to go well for you every day.  If you’re an adult and claim to be mature, then you shouldn’t have to be told that everything is not always going to go well for you.

It’s okay to be frustrated from time to time—being frustrated is a normal part of the human experience.  You shouldn’t be frustrated all of the time, however.  If you’re frustrated all of the time, then you need to seek professional mental health treatment.  People should not shy away from getting mental health treatment.  One of the fundamental purposes of mental health treatment is to empower you with the ability to be in more control of yourself.

Don’t allow a frustrating day to become a serious crisis.  You have to understand that some things will happen and you will need to move on from those things.  Sitting around having a pity party is not going to change anything about your frustrations—it will only make things worse.  It’s very unattractive for you to resort to the most extreme measures when you’re going through frustrating moments.  People will begin to think that it’s best for them to not be around you.  You don’t want people to isolate themselves from you simply because you fly off the handle every time you’re frustrated.

Learn how to handle your problems responsibly.  If you need assistance with conflict resolution, please seek professional assistance.  You may even find it useful to speak with mature and successful people around you who can give you counseling about how to better deal with conflicts in your life.  If you’re always overreacting to problems you have in your life, then there’s something truly wrong with you mentally.  It’s okay to admit that you have mental problems.  By admitting that you have mental problems, you can get the help you need to address those problems.

Again, we all have been frustrated before.  Of course, we all would love to never experience frustration.  However, we know that we can never eliminate experiencing frustration.  How we respond to frustration is much more important than being frustrated.  Acting responsibly and maturely when you’re frustrated can help you to develop into a better person and allow you to discover things about yourself you didn’t even know.

Make every effort to stay in control of your emotions. Stop overacting.  Live responsibly.

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison